Let me ask you this: "Do you want to be a Millionaire?"
I'm pretty sure most people would answer YES to this question. Who doesn't want to be a millionaire! It has always been a goal of mine to be a millionaire, until I was asked the question by someone else.
My conversation with Sean earlier this week was one of deep importance. After my interview, he asked me if I wanted to be a Millionaire.
Of course I said yes but Sean was one of those who shook his head with a smile and said, "I don't want to be a Millionaire." I smiled and wondered, ok what does he know that I don't.
Sean explained his reasoning to me in one sentence. "I don't want to be a Millionaire but I want a million pounds in the bank."
Clarifying What You Want
So simple and yet so profound. "Me too" was all that I could think of and "why didn't I say that?" The key difference here for me was the visual attached to the word want.
I don't want to live a Millionaire lifestyle with a massive house overhanging the ocean. Or a five car garage filled with Bentley's. And I don't want a private jet just waiting to take me somewhere, maybe this is the Billionaire lifestyle. In any case, this is what visually popped into my head when I was asked, do you want to be a Millionaire.
Want = Express Desire
When we use the word want for the purpose it was designed for, to express a desire, or a wish, it becomes so much more powerful and attainable.
I want a million pounds/dollars in the bank too. THAT I can attain and set as a goal to reach. I don't want the ridiculous fantasy that my imagination conjured up when I saw the word MILLION!
You're probably saying, Beth - just change the words around and you'll be fine. And that's not only true but it's one of the first steps to closing your want gap by reflecting, aligning, and understanding your inner values.
Articulating Your Wants with CBT
Your wants need to be articulated positively and properly (in your inner dialogue) so that they spur on your motivational and creative mind.
CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) explains that if you really want something, you need to change your language from the negative "must" and "have-to" (as discussed in our Positive Want Phrase post) and start the self discovery process with these two steps:
Develop a healthy belief of accepting yourself unconditionally. We are complex human beings. We comprise of negative, positive and neutral thoughts and behaviors. Understanding that your negative traits do not reflect negativity about yourself, but are just one part of us as a whole.
For example, I am notorious for re-stacking the dishwasher after my husband has already stacked it. Why? Because I want the dishes to be in the most efficient order to get clean. This can be looked at as a negative behavior (OCD perhaps). However, I accept that I am a bit of a control freak. This can be seen as both negative to some and positive to others, but I accept that it's mine.
Align your healthy beliefs with your internal world view and external reality. Pretty self explanatory. Your fantasy world is just that a fantasy. While your internal world is reflective with reality.
This may not be such a profound concept to some, but for me, it has opened my eyes and ears as I listen and think about what I say I want.
Because I do want to be a Millionaire - one who has a million pounds/dollars in the bank.