A simple photo has me WANTING my memories
I absolutely love autumn. It's my favorite time of the year. It's just cold enough where you need a jumper and a turtleneck but no jacket. The smell of freshly cut grass, reminds me of my childhood spending every weekend at a local football game. Driving down our lane in Kent, I smell a garden bon fire, burning all the summer overgrowth, and I would think back to my childhood home and how we'd have our wood fire lit in October because we didn't want to "put the heating on".
I remember those days, when I was a bit older, had nothing to do, where I would pack up the car and just drive the outskirts of Boston to "leaf peep" and admire the flaming reds, iridescent oranges, and shimmering yellows of the autumn leaves. So it was no surprise that I ripped out pages 27, 28, and 29 in Novembers edition of Gardeners' World where Carol discusses trees.
What I really want... are my memories.
I want reminders, I want smells, I want the visually vibrant colours that amazed me when I was young.
Neuroscientists believe that memories are constantly rewritten and reinforced as we re-experience them reiterating the importance of stories, both those we tell and those we repeat. They also believe that the memories and stories we retell and play over again in our minds may be important in strengthening them. And this rewriting in the brain can lead to eventual transfer of information from one brain region to another, which is important in how we relate to the rest of the world. So, it's not a funny thing to want trees.
No one can tell you what you want or what you don't want. Your wants are yours and yours only.
I battled not only post-natal depression with my therapist but also homesickness (and a number of other issues that I will be writing about this later in the blog). What my therapist helped me understand is to look at my "past" wants and why you want them.
What do I REALLY WANT from the want feeling?
Do I want to go back in time, which is impossible, do I want to be with those that I missed, do I want to relive a memory?
She'd ask where those wants are coming from and how they relate to my world NOW.
Once I took the time to think about what the want feeling was, I could either make peace with the memory, recreate the memory, hold the memory by retelling it to myself. When I saw those trees in Gardeners World, I immediately recalled my memories, replayed them in my head, thought about the positive aspects of those memories and how they relate to my world now.
As I look at the photos of the burning amber leaves in the magazine, I want these for a time yet to come, which is a true WANT - in the future. But what does one do with a future want that isn't achievable at the moment? Make it achievable when the opportunity arrives.
Preparing for Future Wants
Step 1 - pull out the pages in the magazine and put them into my WANT folder/notebook.
Step 2 - put it in my want journey timeline and make it happen when it needs to happen. (Once I buy a house, I will then see if I can put the trees in my garden).
What future wants do you have? Do you WANT summer? Or Winter?
What are the physical senses of a season that you want to create in your life?